Dedication to an Abuser...

When we started
It was love at first sight.
For me at least
You chose to begin with a fight.

When the days grew longer
I was convincing myself to love you.
Even though every day
Your strikes against me grew stronger.

We lived the four seasons
Giving the impression all was great.
No one knew any different
No one knew love was replaced with hate.

We were chameleons
Out of our own skin.
Watching the ones who displayed true love
Despising the lives we were in.

You never knew you were making me stronger
With every hit, punch, push and name.
You thought you were tearing me down
You did not realize it only made me tame.

I became the actress, the pretender
As if what you to me was fine.
I have accepted it as my life
I realize I don't have as much time.

You constructed my every nightmare
An uncertain reality that the emotion hurt is actually love.
I have lived by this theory for to many years
I throw it back to you; all the fear, every time I was scared.

I wash my hands of you and your hate
I clear my mind of your torture.

I am now at peace...

Written By: Kristina Riggs 06/28/2007

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I am feeling so much better...I was really scared I was very sick. I got some antibiotics and I guess knocked out every germ in my body because I feel like a new person now - lol.

I have not heard anything about the promotion yet. But in their defense there are alot of people on vacation because of the holiday. So maybe I will hear something next week. I will keep you posted on that as well.

Well, what they say is true. Time heals all wounds. It seems everyday that goes by it gets a little easier to remember Carol and not cry. Not to feel pain in my heart for her. I know she is ok where she is - I know God is handling the transition calmly for her.

Isaac is doing so very well. He is getting a little "cabin fever" with all this rain he can not go outside and play. It has rained literally 2 weeks straight. We have little breaks of a few hours or maybe even an afternoon, but it always comes back. There are people flooded out of their homes. People have lost their lives from this beast of mother nature. I wish it would let up a bit. I know we need in Texas - but enough is enough.

I can finally say I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I am trying to get some of these damn bills paid off. It seems like all the shit I got myself into when I was younger is catching up to me. Having my own business was a great idea - but up and leaving to come to Texas and not shut it down properly got me into a lot of shit. Every time I pay an attorney or pay a debt payment I think of that bastard and the reason why I had to leave in the first place. I know if I had not left me and my son would not be here today because of his anger but damn am I literally paying for it now. I have to pay off the attorney that represented me in Ohio. I have to pay the rest of a 5 year lease off - ughhh. At least the owner took pity on that one I got a huge discount on that building. Then the trucks...don't even get me started. I still have to pay those off because they all were financed. I have paid off one - still have two to go. I am getting there, but I need to get on it if I want my credit to be right when I look at a house. I want Isaac to have a house - not this damn apartment. But I will not do anything until we are financial stable. I not getting into the same boat again. I get sea sick to easy - lol.

Well, I am cutting this off...I say anymore I will just get pissed again.

Lots of Love;
Kristine