I am really confused right now and need to write...I don't want anyone to actually hear my thoughts right now...It is crazy when you think all is going great and then BOOM just like that it all falls apart in front of you. I have a friend of mine right now in the hospital fighting for her life - she may or may not win this battle and it hurts me that there is nothing I can do to help her. I am not a religious person and I feel like a hypocrite when I only pray when it is convenient or when I am asking God to spare someone. But, if there was ever a person to spare it would be her right now. There are so many people that count on her and love her every single day. My son and his little friend look to her as the lady that always has treats and a smile. His friend even calls her part of her "family". Isaac is only 8 and she is only 6 - how do you tell them that she is gone? I have not even told Isaac she is in the hospital.
See it started this morning. She went to the pool to start spraying it down and getting it ready to open up for the day. She was singing, laughing, dancing around and just being silly as usual. Me and Isaac went down stairs to start some laundry and talked to her for a while. She was in very good spirits this morning. We came back up and waited for the clothes to get done. When we went back down stairs there were police cars in the parking lot. I had no idea what was going on...I saw my friend Amy down there and asked her what was happening. I knew something was wrong so I sent Isaac to the laundry room to start getting laundry out of the dryer. She tells me that our friend just fell face first to the concrete. Cutting her head open and stopped breathing. She did CPR for a long time until paramedics got here. They also tried CPR and she did not respond. They took her to the hospital and she still was not responding. My God - when I heard all of this I was shocked. I was just talking and laughing with her minutes before hand. I refuse to cry, so does my friend. We can't for our kids you know? But know comes the question how do you tell your kids? What do I tell Isaac? Do I wait until I know how she is - or do I tell him she is sick? My Meemaw says to tell him that God saw her cleaning the pool and said she would be a big help in Heaven cleaning up too - and decided to bring her home. I am 30 years old and have never been to a funeral. I know that sounds crazy - but I refuse to go. If she does not make it - I will not go to hers either. I will remember her dancing, singing and being silly. Isaac has never been to one either and will not attend hers. But then I ask if that is the best for him - he will need closure some how. I need to get in touch with his counselor when I tell him what is happening to get some advise on how to handle it.
It has turned into a waiting game...I will keep you all posted.
Even if you are not a religious person - just ask for a favor for us...We need to keep her around for a little while longer. I know she has something beneficial to add to our world. She just needs the chance to bring it to us.
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