Here I am again

Just a quick update about us so far. I have gotten over the whole promotion thing. I realize if it were meant for me to be in that position I would have gotten it. They ended up giving it to an associate that has 20 years of experience. What more could they ask for? At least the best person for the job got it. So I am not sore about it any longer.

Isaac is really doing good on his behavior and listening skills lately. We have both been working on it this week. LOL. Only 2 days into the week, forgot. Oh well, we both have done good for 2 days.

I am working mad overtime at the job and have actually been able to start paying off some more debt. Yeah. Paying bills. I think I am the only one that gets happy about that. One of these days I will be 1/2 way out of debt. Maybe... I will work the overtime as long as they offer it to me. There will be another position coming open soon at the job that I think I will apply for anyway.
Then maybe more overtime will mean more money.

Isaac went to the pool today with his summer camp group. He really likes it there for the most part. Some days are worse than others but when you are 8 and have to wake up at 5 in the morning you can not expect everyday to be great.

Not alot to update - just that we are doing fine and all is well here. I hope it is well for you too.

Love Kristine

Didn't Get It...

Well, for the ones that are interested and have been asking me...NO, I did not get the promotion. What am I going to do? I have no frickin idea...I don't really feel like bloggin right now - I will write more later.

Really Been Slackin'

I have really been behind on my updates...So you are getting them all at once.

I have been in a really shitty mood all day. Not really sure why. But I can just feel it. You know how you can just tell you are not going to have a good day? That was me today. For starters, I was hoping to hear something about the promotion I applied for. Still have not heard anything yet and it is driving me crazy. They said we would hear something by the 15th - well today is the 16th. Ok, maybe they are a little behind - but damn...I am going crazy not knowing. In one hand I think I have a good chance of getting it then in the other I don't think so...Man, I am so confused. Hopefully tomorrow will be the announcement. I am not getting my hopes up to much...Who am I fooling - of course I am. I want this position so bad...But I can not put all my chickies in one basket you know...Ok I am trying to fool myself now - I have so many chickies in one basket it is overflowing...lol

I took Isaac to the pool this weekend - big mistake. Not going to the pool - but staying so long. I am so burnt it hurts to move my arms up and down. Thank God I am not an air traffic controller I would have called off today. I am so sore. I look like a lobster...lol. But we had a blast and that is all that matters.

Well Meemaw has still not been able to move yet. We are still waiting for the information to come through the mail for her. I can not wait. She will be so much happier. She will have all her own stuff back. She started taking those pills to make you quit smoking - man I need some of those. They are already working on here - I know they would work for me too. I don't like her having to do so much and be so far away. I miss her and I know Isaac does to.

Speaking of Isaac. He has been doing good. Very good actually. Kinda mouthy still - but what young man isn't? We are going to start getting his school supplies soon - great further and further in debt again. But, he is worth it. As long as he stays on the honor roll - I am willing to work with him. He has been in the same school going on 4 years. He got the option to go to the Gifted and Talented school again - but does not want to leave his friends - so back to Williams he will go. Oh yeah - I almost forgot, he is wearing deodorant now...lol. he thinks he is all grown up now. He is wearing Tag too, body spray. I guess there is a little girl he likes...lol. Or maybe he realized sweat and little boys does not mix - lol.

Ok, well that is all on us for now...Will update more as time goes on...

Love;
K&I

Dedication to an Abuser...

When we started
It was love at first sight.
For me at least
You chose to begin with a fight.

When the days grew longer
I was convincing myself to love you.
Even though every day
Your strikes against me grew stronger.

We lived the four seasons
Giving the impression all was great.
No one knew any different
No one knew love was replaced with hate.

We were chameleons
Out of our own skin.
Watching the ones who displayed true love
Despising the lives we were in.

You never knew you were making me stronger
With every hit, punch, push and name.
You thought you were tearing me down
You did not realize it only made me tame.

I became the actress, the pretender
As if what you to me was fine.
I have accepted it as my life
I realize I don't have as much time.

You constructed my every nightmare
An uncertain reality that the emotion hurt is actually love.
I have lived by this theory for to many years
I throw it back to you; all the fear, every time I was scared.

I wash my hands of you and your hate
I clear my mind of your torture.

I am now at peace...

Written By: Kristina Riggs 06/28/2007

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I am feeling so much better...I was really scared I was very sick. I got some antibiotics and I guess knocked out every germ in my body because I feel like a new person now - lol.

I have not heard anything about the promotion yet. But in their defense there are alot of people on vacation because of the holiday. So maybe I will hear something next week. I will keep you posted on that as well.

Well, what they say is true. Time heals all wounds. It seems everyday that goes by it gets a little easier to remember Carol and not cry. Not to feel pain in my heart for her. I know she is ok where she is - I know God is handling the transition calmly for her.

Isaac is doing so very well. He is getting a little "cabin fever" with all this rain he can not go outside and play. It has rained literally 2 weeks straight. We have little breaks of a few hours or maybe even an afternoon, but it always comes back. There are people flooded out of their homes. People have lost their lives from this beast of mother nature. I wish it would let up a bit. I know we need in Texas - but enough is enough.

I can finally say I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I am trying to get some of these damn bills paid off. It seems like all the shit I got myself into when I was younger is catching up to me. Having my own business was a great idea - but up and leaving to come to Texas and not shut it down properly got me into a lot of shit. Every time I pay an attorney or pay a debt payment I think of that bastard and the reason why I had to leave in the first place. I know if I had not left me and my son would not be here today because of his anger but damn am I literally paying for it now. I have to pay off the attorney that represented me in Ohio. I have to pay the rest of a 5 year lease off - ughhh. At least the owner took pity on that one I got a huge discount on that building. Then the trucks...don't even get me started. I still have to pay those off because they all were financed. I have paid off one - still have two to go. I am getting there, but I need to get on it if I want my credit to be right when I look at a house. I want Isaac to have a house - not this damn apartment. But I will not do anything until we are financial stable. I not getting into the same boat again. I get sea sick to easy - lol.

Well, I am cutting this off...I say anymore I will just get pissed again.

Lots of Love;
Kristine

Just Amazing...

I am so sick...I have been sick for days now...I started getting a soar throat Friday night and woke up Saturday morning feeling absolutely awful. I tried to enlist the help of my friends, yeah that was a joke. I had my Meemaw that lives over an hour away and my very good friend downstairs, Amy, to help me. Without them - I would probably be dead by now. Amy got my antibiotics and Meemaw called and checked on me via Isaac because I was either asleep or could not talk. If it were not for those two - I don't know what I would do. Isaac went down with Amy and her daughter for awhile and played so I could have some time to sleep soundly. I still don't know what is wrong with me - I am hoping these antibiotics start working though. I will feel better then in 30 minutes I will feel awful. I need to go to the hospital but I don't want to take Isaac up there with me. This is the time I wish I had more people I could call my friends. Someone I could count on to help me. This is kinda why I hate being single...just for a second though. I tried to go to work today...yeah right. By the time I was thinking about leaving and going to the hospital - I get a call from Isaac's daycare. He was throwing food in the lunchroom and being ugly to his teacher so they wanted me to pick him up for the day. OK, here I come...another time I put off me getting help for someone else. At least this time it was for my kid and not someone else. Trust and believe it will be a long time before I extend a hand of helpfulness to anyone right away. I see how many people checked on me...2. Man, I could have sworn I had more than 2 friends...o-well. Life goes on. I am at the point that I don't even care anymore. The one person I wanted to be with, I can't. And the one friend I want, is to far stuck up her mans ass to give a shit about me. Hmmm, I think I need to reevaluate my life and friendships - whatever they may be. I am really in a shitty mood right now and probably have no business blogging, but I find that is when the truth comes out. When you have no cares of the consequences..and right now I don't. I just can't bring myself to argue with anyone right now...so this is my sounding board once again. Maybe I will get to the hospital some day before my funeral. Maybe, maybe not. I might go on Wednesday, I am off work because of the holiday. If I am no better I will got then...I promise myself I will....