It has been almost a week since my last cigarette and I really feel I am done with smoking. I have had a bit or cravings but nothing nearly as bad as I thought it would be like. If I would have known it would be this easy - I would have quit a long time ago, lol.
Well, Isaac had his 1st day in 3rd grade today!!! Yeah! He was so excited, he did really great. He did not get the teacher he wanted but I think he will be just fine. She is an older lady so maybe she won't put up with any crap - lol. He has a very small classroom this year - 16 students in all. That is good at least. Well, I will keep you posted on how this works out through the year.
Well, not alot to update - so I will be signing off now. Just a reminder my birthday is Thursday - I am getting so old...ughh. Thanks to everyone that has already sent birthday wishes my way...
Love you All;
Kristine
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
FRIENDS SUCK!!! I NEED A REAL MAN...NOT A FRIEND
What the fuck have I done to deserve people walking all over me and treating me like shit?! I take peoples feelings into account in my day to day life. But it seems like the people I surround myself with could give a shit less...
I have one person that is so wishy washy I am convinced she only calls me when she needs something or when she is in trouble. Then I have another one I would give my right arm for and when I need something trivial - they are so much up their companions ass they can do nothing for someone else. You know I am so tired of this bullshit. I miss Amy right now. She is a friend - she could give these people a lesson on how to be a true friend. She is married and still makes time for her true friends as I would for a true friend. But, she is out of town right now and I miss her alot. I have noone to talk to. I made plans with my so-called friend and got a call later Saturday afternoon with her saying she is in Fort Worth! Well, fuck you Kristina - not like you had plans to hang out or something. Then tonight my son is running fever and I was going to take him to the hospital. My "friend" would not help me with $20 to get a prescription because his fucking girlfriend would not let him! I was not trying to make him broke my god - I just did not want to have to go to the bank and take out what little I had before payday. But what the fuck do I know. I thought friends looked out for friends. But, I guess I don't need any. It just goes to show you all I have is my Meemaw and my son. That is proof of it for sure.
I am so mad right now I probably should not even be doing this blog. But screw it why should I keep quiet when noone cares anyway. For those who do care - my sons fever has subsided for now thanks to my Meemaw telling me what to do to break it. If it were not for her we would be in the ER right now. Then my so-called friends would tell me tomorrow "why didn't you tell me".
I will tell you what I need. I need a good man, a good boyfriend. A good boyfriend would have said "Let's take him to the doctor, I will stay with you and make sure he is ok". But, nope don't have that either. I need that though. I am so tired of doing shit alone. Sitting here worrying, crying, feeling alone. I know I have alot to add to a good relationship - but no idea where to find a good guy anymore. I don't go to clubs, bars or party - so how do I socialize enough to meet someone. Not to many guys at the park - and they are probably pedophiles anyway. So, don't want one of them. The guys in my building are all drunks - so don't need them. The guys at my job are like 100 years old - nope not them either...So what do I do? Do I go for the one that likes little kids, drinking to oblivion or about to be stuffed at the taxidermist? Hmmm, the decisions are endless.
OK - well, that is enough of my rants and raves for the moment...Just keep in mind - taking applications for a real man to spend some time with. Apply within.
Love you guys;
Kristine
I have one person that is so wishy washy I am convinced she only calls me when she needs something or when she is in trouble. Then I have another one I would give my right arm for and when I need something trivial - they are so much up their companions ass they can do nothing for someone else. You know I am so tired of this bullshit. I miss Amy right now. She is a friend - she could give these people a lesson on how to be a true friend. She is married and still makes time for her true friends as I would for a true friend. But, she is out of town right now and I miss her alot. I have noone to talk to. I made plans with my so-called friend and got a call later Saturday afternoon with her saying she is in Fort Worth! Well, fuck you Kristina - not like you had plans to hang out or something. Then tonight my son is running fever and I was going to take him to the hospital. My "friend" would not help me with $20 to get a prescription because his fucking girlfriend would not let him! I was not trying to make him broke my god - I just did not want to have to go to the bank and take out what little I had before payday. But what the fuck do I know. I thought friends looked out for friends. But, I guess I don't need any. It just goes to show you all I have is my Meemaw and my son. That is proof of it for sure.
I am so mad right now I probably should not even be doing this blog. But screw it why should I keep quiet when noone cares anyway. For those who do care - my sons fever has subsided for now thanks to my Meemaw telling me what to do to break it. If it were not for her we would be in the ER right now. Then my so-called friends would tell me tomorrow "why didn't you tell me".
I will tell you what I need. I need a good man, a good boyfriend. A good boyfriend would have said "Let's take him to the doctor, I will stay with you and make sure he is ok". But, nope don't have that either. I need that though. I am so tired of doing shit alone. Sitting here worrying, crying, feeling alone. I know I have alot to add to a good relationship - but no idea where to find a good guy anymore. I don't go to clubs, bars or party - so how do I socialize enough to meet someone. Not to many guys at the park - and they are probably pedophiles anyway. So, don't want one of them. The guys in my building are all drunks - so don't need them. The guys at my job are like 100 years old - nope not them either...So what do I do? Do I go for the one that likes little kids, drinking to oblivion or about to be stuffed at the taxidermist? Hmmm, the decisions are endless.
OK - well, that is enough of my rants and raves for the moment...Just keep in mind - taking applications for a real man to spend some time with. Apply within.
Love you guys;
Kristine
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Time Sure Does Fly
Tonight I did something I have not done in years. I layed down with my son in his bed and just told him stories of when he was a baby. Things he loved to do. Stroking his hair and rubbing his eyebrows, I remembered when he was born and at that moment my Meemaw told me something I have never heard before but will never forget now. "Having children is the hardest pain a person can endure - but the easiest one to forget" I think about that and know it is true. I had Isaac 8 years ago and can not remember any pain of his birth. I remember the hospital, going to labor and the surgery - but no pain. Amazing how one little person can give me so much pain one minute and so much joy for so many long years after the fact. I know for a fact the only reason I am alive right now is because of that little boy. When I found out I was pregnant, I swore to turn it all around and I believe I have. I am stable now and happier than I have been in many years. I can only hope the fears he had before are only distant memories now. I hope I can give him a better life than I had ever dreamed of. My youth sucked that is no secret and I believe if it were not for Isaac - my adulthood would suck too. For this I love him more and more every single day of his life.
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