What the fuck have I done to deserve people walking all over me and treating me like shit?! I take peoples feelings into account in my day to day life. But it seems like the people I surround myself with could give a shit less...
I have one person that is so wishy washy I am convinced she only calls me when she needs something or when she is in trouble. Then I have another one I would give my right arm for and when I need something trivial - they are so much up their companions ass they can do nothing for someone else. You know I am so tired of this bullshit. I miss Amy right now. She is a friend - she could give these people a lesson on how to be a true friend. She is married and still makes time for her true friends as I would for a true friend. But, she is out of town right now and I miss her alot. I have noone to talk to. I made plans with my so-called friend and got a call later Saturday afternoon with her saying she is in Fort Worth! Well, fuck you Kristina - not like you had plans to hang out or something. Then tonight my son is running fever and I was going to take him to the hospital. My "friend" would not help me with $20 to get a prescription because his fucking girlfriend would not let him! I was not trying to make him broke my god - I just did not want to have to go to the bank and take out what little I had before payday. But what the fuck do I know. I thought friends looked out for friends. But, I guess I don't need any. It just goes to show you all I have is my Meemaw and my son. That is proof of it for sure.
I am so mad right now I probably should not even be doing this blog. But screw it why should I keep quiet when noone cares anyway. For those who do care - my sons fever has subsided for now thanks to my Meemaw telling me what to do to break it. If it were not for her we would be in the ER right now. Then my so-called friends would tell me tomorrow "why didn't you tell me".
I will tell you what I need. I need a good man, a good boyfriend. A good boyfriend would have said "Let's take him to the doctor, I will stay with you and make sure he is ok". But, nope don't have that either. I need that though. I am so tired of doing shit alone. Sitting here worrying, crying, feeling alone. I know I have alot to add to a good relationship - but no idea where to find a good guy anymore. I don't go to clubs, bars or party - so how do I socialize enough to meet someone. Not to many guys at the park - and they are probably pedophiles anyway. So, don't want one of them. The guys in my building are all drunks - so don't need them. The guys at my job are like 100 years old - nope not them either...So what do I do? Do I go for the one that likes little kids, drinking to oblivion or about to be stuffed at the taxidermist? Hmmm, the decisions are endless.
OK - well, that is enough of my rants and raves for the moment...Just keep in mind - taking applications for a real man to spend some time with. Apply within.
Love you guys;
Kristine
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